meandering thoughts

i saw him once...twice...thrice and more after awhile
asked my number, checking if i am a by pass chatter
to his relief i am not
to my surprise, he is kind
a rarity online.




it became a routine
something i look forward to certain times of the day
apprehensions build
as i started to feel his presence in my everyday life.




is he true
are the stories kinder in reality
or fabricated ones
bleeding my heart.




he made me happy
i brought trust back to his life
or so he says
until when i don't know.




"next vacation, i will be with you"
his promise
suddenly i was numb
in my mind he is not serious with me.




friends that's what we are
he wanted more than that
i couldn't help but doubt




are good intentions possible
for someone who is deeply hurt
did he forget his love of 29 days
a marriage that ended so bitterly




what if...
there are more than one of us in his life
i can't live with that reality
so i better distance myself
reason i seldom talk nowadays.




the great unknown
that's what i'm afraid about
"can't you trust me more, please?"
his plea.




how can i?
why can't i?